Observations on Thai Women. Part 1of 2.
An essay on an important aspect of Thai culture and Lifestyle intended for the benefit of both expats and visitors.
The YouTuber, who produced a video on this subject, opened with this comment, “In this video, we will take a look at 12 different kinds of Thai women you should have nothing whatsoever to do with”. It appears that YouTube have now removed the YouTuber’s story.
I have not edited or changed his narrative. I have not amended his style of writing or use of flowery language and clichés. Each of the 12 sections starts with his analysis and is followed by my critique of his discussion. I have aimed to provide, from my own experience and research, a more balanced and cultural insight into the 12 points he makes, explaining why Thais think and act as they do.
His Contents Page.
1. The Thai Woman ATM Seeker.
2. The Angry Thai Woman.
3. The Emotional Manipulator.
4. The BLATANT Thai Gold Digger.
5. The INSANELY Jealous Thai Woman.
6. The Emotionally Immature Thai Woman.
7. The REFUSE to Listen to Anything Thai Lady.
8. The Farang Friend Collector.
9. The Alcohol or Drug Addicted Thai Lady.
10. The Violent Thai Woman.
11. The Threat Maker.
12. The Ultimatum Giver.
1. The Thai Woman ATM Seeker.
“This lady simply wants a walking ATM, and she does not care what she has to do or say to part you from your hard-earned money.
She will constantly be making outrageous demands for money.”
As with the YouTuber’s other points, much of what he says applies to Thai men as well as women. Thailand has been described as a “money” culture. If you listen carefully to Thais speaking, you will notice they regularly introduce money into the conversation. “I bought some fresh fruit from the market this morning. It was delicious and only cost 50 baht.” Whenever a Thai makes a donation at the temple (he does so to earn merit), he will listen carefully to the evening loudspeaker announcement for his name and donation amount to be called out.
Thais believe that all foreigners are rich.
2. The Angry Thai Woman.
“This woman has a serious temper and has an attention deficit disorder. Like a 10-year-old in a woman’s body. She truly believes that she can bully you into submission. And she will do it if you let her!”
I don’t understand the relevance of “a 10-year-old in a woman’s body”. Perhaps he is implying that the woman is behaving childishly. But I would anyway disagree with that. Attention deficit disorder is an illness that affects all ages, and tempers can then result.
Thais are taught, from the moment they are born, not to think for themselves. This is reinforced in the schools and in each of the Thai temples. Thais listen to what they are told in the wat. It is natural, therefore, for them to get angry over what is impossible for them to control. And it’s easier to vent that anger on a farang than on a Thai.
The late King Bhumibol told his people that they did not have to think, he would do their thinking for them. Thais did not take that as demeaning or belittling. They took it as an act of consideration from a benevolent king to his subjects.
It’s not only the angry Thai woman that the youtuber accuses of anger. Drivers on Thai roads get inflamed on the roads every day and road rage forms as a result. Thais become frustrated at being stopped at police checkpoints, having to negotiate dangerous U-turns, not being able to complain about the poor infrastructure on the highways. They can’t petition the police or the governing authorities. They vent their anger on other road users.
There are some true stories on this subject in some of the 365 entries of “A Thailand Diary”, my most popular book. An in-depth analysis of the cultural reasons for this Thai attitude is covered in some of the chapters of “Thailand Take Two”.
3. The Emotional Manipulator.
“If anger fails, you will get the silent treatment or tears. This Thai lady can cry at the drop of a hat and is an expert in using her emotions to control you.”
Thais listen to their emotions and do not rationalise problems or events. They go along with how they FEEL about something. They use their hearts not their minds. Think of how many Thai words have the word “jai”, heart, in them.
Most Thais, men and women, will use the “silent treatment” instead of responding with a (western) logical argument or response. Or, they’ll just walk away to avoid getting into a conflict situation. To them, that’s preferable to losing Face and having to admit losing the argument.
My best friend in England is a solicitor and his wife is a local magistrate. She was caught speeding by the police and immediately turned on the tears, explaining her husband would metaphorically kill her if she, being a magistrate, was given a ticket. She’s an attractive lady and the officer fell for her charms and let her off.
She drove away. She had this amazing ability to turn tears on and off at will.
4. “The BLATANT Thai Gold Digger.
“It absolutely amazes me how so many Western guys fall for this type of lady. They make utterly ridiculous demands for money and the guy gives and gives and gives until he is TOTALLY broke. Use your common sense!”
Sadly, this is true of some women. Best to take a year or so to get to know your girlfriend first, meet her family, talk to her friends, work colleagues, and neighbours. Always remember though that if she introduces you to her parents, it is taken as a sign that you will marry.
5. “The INSANELY Jealous Thai Woman.
“Some Thai women can be jealous to the point of insanity. If you find yourself in a relationship with a woman like this and you don’t take steps to address the issues — your life will become an absolute misery!”
It’s not insanity or jealousy.
Two important characteristics of the Thai, men and women, are that they love gossiping and are jealous of others. It’s totally irrational, and not borne out by the facts, but most are convinced that all farangs are rich.
My friend Goong felt sorry for an English guy who was a retired taxi driver. She had assumed that they earned the same low wages as Thai taxi drivers. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that the average earnings of self-employed taxi drivers in the U.K. are over £21,000 per year, 79,000 baht a month.
